We are all influenced by our experience of childhood.  Some will experience good enough parenting and for others that may not the case.  Either way it is part of human conditioning that we all have responded to the environment that we grew up in.  Some of us learn how to please others, or feel the need to be perfect, some learn how to try hard, whilst others learn to be strong and not show their feelings. Some just learn that the only way to survive in their family is to hurry up.  We all develop our beliefs about how we need to be in the world in order to survive life in childhood in the hope of being loved.  These are very useful and normal strategies of survival and are appropriate at the time of making them. However as we grow up in the world there comes a time when the very strategies we adopted in childhood suddenly do not work for us in adult hood.  Some find it impossible to say No! in fear that they won’t be liked if they do so.  Some can’t express their feelings to someone they wish to be close to as they learnt a long time before to hide their feelings. Some people work and work and are always on the go because they learnt to hurry and be productive in order to be loved. Others just keep trying to succeed but never experience success. I expect as you read this you will already know what strategies you adopted as a child.  Counselling is about finding out about your unconscious strategies of survival and re-deciding them in light of the adult world you now find yourself in.  To stop adapting your way of being in the world so you can begin to live your life for you.  To get your needs met as opposed to the needs of others. What is amazing is how easily this can be adjusted through self understanding and awareness so you can proceed to live your life deliberately instead of coincidently by those earlier decisions and long held beliefs.   

Once you have achieved this new way of being the fun really starts as you learn how to future pace your life, finding your true potential and learn how to be truly successful in what ever way success means for you. Remember every action has a reaction.  If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got… So learn how to do it differently!